Was feeling ultra downhearted for the past 5 days or so. Can't put to words or pen what its all about, but i guess it a combination of the following reasons.
1. Work is getting frustrating. So much so that i am looking forward to the tea-breaks and lunchtime to escape. Escape from my boss perhaps. Starting to get on my nerves when i feel that he is making use of every opportunity to make me feel incompetent. Maybe he doesn't meant to make it feel tat way, but i am jus pissed.
2. I am only late 20s and oreadi having hair loss problem. Its probably hereditary since I am on a pretty healthy diet. This is the only way I cannot shift blame onto anyone or anything (I cannot blame my dad for this rite?) While there is no bare patch (yet), i can't cheer myself up when i am seeing thinning hair and more and more glimpses of my scalp. I have been using this topical solution Minoxi5 for like 1 month but all i see is more hair on my hands whenever i wash my hair. I am pretty desperate now, maybe a visit to a GP will ease some of my worries.
3. I failed my IPPT sometime ago and i am due for RT. I am never a fitness person, preferring to laze around and enjoy my weekly dose of basketball court soccer than jogging. But now, i dread having to go for RT because i will find it hard to explain to my boss i need to leave earlier for RT. He had the impression i am a super fit person (because of my vocation in NS) so i guess he is going to be unpleasantly surprised. Maybe i should jus leave on the dot at 5:30 and take a cab down, hopefully won't be late and still escaping all those funny looks i am going to be receiving.
Jus booked my RT session to begin on the 9th Sep.
4. I have been trying to study into trading with options for the past 5 years or more. Its not the most interesting subject i would have chosen but given that i am in this depressing nation, i need to find alternate means for extra income. My discipline has let me down, i am nowhere near to that goal of mine as i was 3 years ago. I have stepped up my efforts to read more relevant books lately but its hard doing all these alone. At least for the start. Or am i finding an excuse?
5. I very much wanted a home of my own. My current pad is a small corner of a room which I shared with my dad. I hide here behind my computer hoping to escape from reality. Reality is, I won’t be getting any more comfortable if I should ever get a new home with my current girlfriend. We cannot even agree on where to stay, so I can only predict more problems ahead of us. She expects me to give in to her, but there is only so much i can bulge.
I am sure any one of the above reasons when alone will not cause me to suffer from this mild depression. They jus happen to come all together, while the past ones would not disappear. I am vaguely clear of what I have to do, but it going to take some time, some very long time ahead.
Oh, I got back my SLR-wannabe. Its time for some overdue photo taking with some of my stuff.
2 comments:
1) quit... told u umpteen times.. hahahahaha... even a librarian earns more than you.
2) your botak in NS looks nice too.. so don't get too emo lah, bro. Warning signs were there, just that you took too long to take action so be patient. Alternatively, Yun Nan is waiting so start saving
3) get your butt moving lah... exercise can help to relieve the stress you're facing now.. turn "dulan-ness" into strength.
4) your nua-ness got into you again... that's why u lost 6k... knn.. no excuse to feel down because of that... do it alone lah, u also learn pcc by yourself wat..
5) migrate, be a monk, rent a place, sleep at void deck or macdonalds.
Reality is, 66.6% is here lah... don't have to be so mafan to type and upload mah... kopi on me soon
wth... dat's not me man!
tell u wat... we come out drink kopi...
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